House Rules

We expect this forum to be a place for on-going and effective discussion of the poetry and Speaker material as they relate to our lives. Forums are really on-going, virtual meetings and all effective meetings must have ground rules or a code of acceptable conduct in order to be effective. Therefore, we'll start out with rules that apply to any group meeting.

Remember, the dynamic of meetings is not the same as one-on-one dialogs. It is one-to-many. What works for person-to-person communication does not necessarily work for a public forum and it is possible to have more than one discussion going on at a time.

Don't take ownership of each post you make. By that we mean, as in any sharing of love, it can't be given away until we release it. By releasing, we can also detach ourselves from the various responses we'll get to what we have posted. Many times, especially for the replies that appear to be critical or attacking, it's about the person that responded - not you. (Remember that we've all grown up with differing filters that affect our perception of sensory input. Many of them can be defense mechanisms that worked for us when we were younger.) Through the dialog on this forum, we'll come to better understandings of others points of view.

The moderators do not expect everyone to resonate with the energy of this forum and each member is expected to listen to their own heart and spend energy where he or she resonates. Since these rules were created in order to foster a safe group environment, they have to be enforced from time to time. The forum moderators look forward to the time when they don't have to enforce anything - but they realize the importance of having these guidelines. Like all of us they are incorporating their "Self" understanding to the best of their ability and, after listening to everyone's opinion they have to act from within. When the moderators fail to moderate, the atmosphere of the group discussion can deteriorate into personal attacks and attention seeking. In order to have a balanced and safe atmosphere, the moderators prefer that no one person be the center of attention, including themselves. (These things come from the experience of the moderators on this forum and many others.)

Newcomers are always welcome and are expected to behave properly as guests in our house. Listed below are the house rules so that we all know what is acceptable behavior and there are no surprises. If someone does forget the rules, they will probably receive a great number of reminders from fellow members. A member's posting privileges will be revoked if the moderators receive many complaints and see evidence of abusive intent.

The intent here is not to keep anyone from posting their thoughts and feelings that are on-topic -- just to help us all keep on track.

The moderators don't keep any "records" beyond the message archive that all members can search. If we delete a post, it's gone.

Here are the no-no's for this group:

1. Blaming, judgment, criticism, name-calling, uninvited psycho-analysis. In other words, lack of respect.
2. Postings devoid of content related to this group.
3. Forwarding private E-mails or Private Messages without permission.
4. Forwarding public posts from this board to another without the permission of all posters in the forwarded text.
5. Cross-posting messages to more than one forum. What happens is that there will be text from a message on one forum that wasn't posted on the second. Members on the second forum, who aren't members of the first, will not know what the subsequent posts in that thread are referring to.
6. Adding a member's E-mail address to your private mailing list without asking for their permission first.

So, what are the options when we happen to take affront to an interpretation of what someone posted?

A. Reply to them privately, requesting clarification and sharing your interpretation - without blame.
B. Ask for help in understanding your feelings, either publicly or privately. This involves describing your feelings - not acting on them.
C. Forgiveness. Turn the other cheek. Ignore it.
D. Talk to your True Self. Ask for the gift in this turmoil. What am I to learn here? Use pure intent. Use feeling.
E. Your True Self may have come up with something even better. You'll know it's right when it feels loving, inclusive, healing, inspiring, empowering and energizing. (Just to name a few.) If something just pissed you off, your ego was filtering your perception at the time. It was in the driver's seat. By the way, the ego isn't bad, it just doesn't have the overall perspective that your Whole Self does. It's not able to see the big picture. And remember, how you feel is not the other person's fault. They are doing you a service by bringing your issue up to the surface. They deserve thanks for giving you the opportunity!

Ok. What is this Self-to-self group about?

• Exploring
• Curiosity
• Sharing
• Working together
• Solving problems - creating solutions - together
• Creativity
• Learning
• Teaching

If you have comments on these rules, please E-mail the moderator rather than the whole group. You can reach the moderator by clicking the emailme button below.